Relationship Design ToolThis is a discussion tool to get the conversations started. Its not a promise for the future; you can always change your mind at any time. This as an opportunity to work out what you really want, speak your truth & manifest the relationship you want.If there was no conditioning, no shame or stigma, what would you want your relationship to look like?If speaking your truth led to getting what you really wanted, can you speak my truth here? Your First name * Your email * Your current or future partners name Only fill this in if your going to ask them to complete this survey as well. If they do , you will be able to view their answers and yours side by side, after I put them together. I wont be reading trough the answers unless you want me to I consent to have my data temporarily go to Joes secure database This is necessary, so I can create an easy to read PDF of the results that you can share with whomever you want to share with. I will ask Joe to delete the data when I'm done. Yes Autonomy A1. I need alone time X times per week * Alone time means time apart from you, doing my own thing A2. I need to be in control of me & things that affect me * I need full control over my own life I need some control over my own life I need no control over my own life A3. Having a say in how my partner lives their life * I need full control over your life I need some control over your life I need no control over your life A4. I would love to see my partner X times per week * A5. I want to maintain independent friendships * I dont need this I must have this A6. Being in charge, calling the shots * I prefer you to be the decision maker most of the time I prefer if sometimes I'm in charge and sometimes you are I'm comfortable being in charge & I will check in with you to see if your needs are being met I want to be in charge, full stop. Money matters M1. Our finances should be 100% combined * I dont want this I'm open to this I need this M2. Have at least 1 shared bank account * I dont want this I'm open to this I need this M3. Spending money to enjoy life * I prefer to save for the future, and not spend much now I'm somewhere in the middle I love spending without regard for the future Sex S1. Discussing all aspects of our sex life openly with each other * I dont want this I'm not fussed I need this S2. Holding hands in public * I dont need this I'm not fussed I need this S3. Exploration & Variety * I prefer a narrow range of sexual expression and practices I'm somewhere in the middle I'm very open to exploring and I like variety! S4. I would love sex approximately X times per month * S5. Condoms * I dont want this Lets discuss some options I need this S6. STI testing * I dont want this Lets discuss if this is necessary I need this S7. Receiving oral sex * I dont want this I'm open to receiving this I love this I'm not comfortable enough to share this information S7.5 Giving oral sex * I dont want this I'm open to doing this I love this I'm not comfortable enough to share this information S8. Penetration * I dont want this I can take or leave this I need this I'm not comfortable enough to share this information S9. Just us two * Its important that sex is confined to our beautiful group of 2 I'm curious to talk more about this I love the freedom of being sexual with more than 1 person S10. Other important things to mention are: Communication C1. Sharing our feelings vulnerably, every week or so * I dont need this I'm not fussed I need this C3. We can talk about any topic truthfully * I dont need this I'm not fussed I need this C4. Daily phone calls or daily texts * I dont want this I'm not fussed I need this C5. Conflict * I prefer to avoid talking about our conflict I'm keen to discuss and resolve Social So1. Hanging out with each others friends * I dont want this I'm not fussed Sometimes, if you want to So2. Hanging out with each others family * I dont want this Occasionally, if you want to I need this So3. How many times per month would I like you to attend a social gathering with me? * So4. How many times per month am I willing to attend social gatherings with you? * Other stuff O1. Marriage * I dont want this I dont really want this, but maybe I want to (with the right person) O2. How long should we be in relationship? * Short term For as long as it works well for us Forever is the only option O3. Living together * I dont want this I would consider living with a partner(s) part-time I want a fulltime live in partner(s) O4. Have kids together * I dont want this Maybe, lets discuss I want this O5. Pets * I dont want pets I am open to pets I want pets O6. Carnivore, vegan, vegetarian * We must have the same dietary requirements We dont need to have the same requirements O7. Plan for a future together * I dont want this I am open to this I want this O8. Religion * you must be of the same religion as me It doesnt matter, as long as our beliefs can be in harmony we must both be non-religious O9. Heres a few more things that need to be spoken I will let Joe know when its time to delete my answers from his secure database Yes, I will let him know I resisted answering some of these questions & I need to book a coaching session with Joe No need, I can speak my truth mmm, maybe, let me sit with that for a while Yes, I could use support speaking my truth, I will book a session Whats next? If your already in relationship, you both can fill in this survey (separately) and then discuss (in person) any areas of incompatibility and what needs to happen next. If your single, you might post your survey responses on your dating profile (as a filter). I invite you to ask your potential partner to fill in this survey before you commit to each other. Either way, if two of you fill in the survey, you can ask me to send both of you your answers side by side for easy comparison. Thank you! Refresh this page if you want your partner/potential partner to fill in the form now.
